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The Son of the Emperor: 2 by NoMoreSanity The Son of the Emperor: 2 by NoMoreSanity

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The second chapter of 'The Son of the Emperor.'

Chapter 1: [link]
Chapter 2: Here.
Chapter 3: [link]
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:iconfirelord-zuko:
firelord-zuko Dec 17, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Another very nice chapter. Napoleon's motivations become clear and are perfectly reasonable, though I seem to remember reading that OTL Napoleon II had little ambition to regain his birthright.
Minor nitpicks: Prussia, at the time, was rather tolerant. The regime still sought to emulate Frederick the Great, and was open to immigrants of all professions and religions, though intolerance was increasing. I also think you might be overdoing it a little with Napoleon's and Twilight's curiosity, and especially the former's education. While it would be perfectly possible for a nine-year-old who started at three to speak some dozen languages, the Empire saw the concept of childhood arise for the first time, and education began to focus on "natural" development. Poor J. S. Mill.
Also, I'd recommend you to difference between "Prinz" (as in HRH The Prince Henry of Wales) and "Fürst" (as in HRH The Prince of Wales). This becomes especially noticeable when you speak of Metternich as a Prinz.
Also, Il Principe is not really funny (subjective opinion right here) even when you know it's satire. Satire doesn't mean funny. Also, the very idea that Macchiavelli was satirising the Medici arose only later. And he's got quite some points, even when read straight.
I really like your Metternich, BTW. For once he seems like a real person, though of course he still is portrayed as the bad guy ... which is, though, only natural for Napoleon II. Just like his father -- can't live with Talleyrand, can't live without him~~ Napoleon II as well is beginning to become interesting. He seemed a little overly clichéd in the first chapter, but slowly, it becomes clear that he is, in fact, a child.
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:iconnomoresanity:
Thanks again for the comment! I'm not sure how to deal with the writing of his curiosity, as it's been a problem for me since the beginning, but I'll think of something at least. Also Prinz is just something easier for people to get, but if it's that big a problem I'll be glad to change it.
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:iconfirelord-zuko:
firelord-zuko Dec 17, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Well, it's not exactly a problem. It could just be somewhat confusing, especially seeing that German has distinct words for either variety.
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:iconnomoresanity:
Hmm, I might change it then. It'll be a nuisance to change every instance of it in every chapter maybe, but if it'll improve the language it'll be worth it.
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:iconkeairan:
The English map amused me, good story though.
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:iconwanderingmagus:
so are you going to upload chapter 3 here too? or are you sticking to google docs for the time being?

oh, and "Silberlöffel und Diamantdiadem" had me smiling like crazy. :D
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:iconnomoresanity:
Eh, I forgot, sorry. Though honestly I'm unsure of the point of posting these here, when everyone seems to just be reading them on Docs. Though I'll continue I suppose.

Thanks for the kind words.
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:iconwanderingmagus:
Please continue and persevere! :)

And no problem whatsoever, you deserve them.
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:iconthatguycalledapollo:
ThatGuyCalledApollo Dec 24, 2011
Look at it this way: if people can't access the link on EqD they can here. It's not bad to have a backup, eh?

Besides, as far as I'm aware, some writers on EqD made their stories avalable here, in this format, because some people read them off e-readers or something.
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:iconnomoresanity:
True that I suppose.
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