Deviant Login Shop  Join deviantART for FREE Take the Tour
×

More from deviantART



Details

Submitted on
January 23, 2012
File Size
536 KB
Link
Thumb
Embed

Stats

Views
342
Favourites
2 (who?)
Comments
11
Downloads
13
×
The Son of the Emperor: 6 by NoMoreSanity The Son of the Emperor: 6 by NoMoreSanity

It appears you don't have PDF support in this web browser. Download PDF

Chapter 6. Do enjoy, and comment/criticize if you can!
Add a Comment:
 
:icongakumerasara:
Are you still working on this story? I'm curious if/how chapter 7 is coming along.
Reply
:iconwanderingmagus:
yay update! thank you nomoresanity! very good read :D
Reply
:iconlilmagi:
I would like to clarify this part of my comment
"Early on you establish that Charles and Twilight will be going to the Slovenian Military Frontier"
I got that early impression from Charles saying
""It says we're headed to the Slovene frontier of it. I can only assume that's in Slovenia?""
And than you showed us Croatia and I was confused as Slovenia is west of it.
But than you clarified its Slavonia, yet you kept writing in Slovenes :P
Reply
:iconnomoresanity:
Well on the map, I just preferred the map I used. It was a better map then the other ones I saw, so forgive me if it's confusing. I'll be sure to fix those things right away.
Reply
:iconlilmagi:
While reading this chapter I smiled, frowned and laughed out loud. Where I started with low mood (i haven't been feeling well lately) I finished feeling much better and happier. Thank you.

I am not well versed in the literary part of English language, nor do I write stories. So I cant help you with the constructive criticism in that regard.
But, there is one thing that has left me confused.
Early on you establish that Charles and Twilight will be going to the Slovenian Military Frontier (you keep writing is Slovene, was strange to me to read it that way in English, as many just use Slovenian, but I guess its more appropriate for the time period.)
Even have Istvan comment on the ethnic population of it ("Only Serbs, Croats, and Slovenes ...")
But than you show the map of Croatian Military Frontier...but Slovenia is right west of the Croatia. [link]
But, that later on you clarify that it actually is Slavonian Military Frontier [link] ?
I have to point out that Slovenia =/= Slavonia.
Slovenia is a country, a language (Slovenian) and an Ethnic group (Slovenians). While Slavonia is a region, mostly populated by Serbians, Croatians and Germans. [link]
There would hardly be any Slovenians there, even in the army. But I will let it slide, as maybe Austria has recruits from all the ethnic groups.
(which made me laugh, when Twilight said to Nikola that been Slovenian is a same thing as Serbian, she couldn't have said a worse insult! :D)
So you can understand my confusion :(

Overall, I liked reading this chapter. And Thank You for making my day brighter :)
Sorry I couldn't help more.
Reply
:iconnomoresanity:
Oh sorry, the Slavonia thing was a typo. I meant Slovanian Military frontier, while mentioning Slovenes. Sorry, the close names cause me to fix them up, so do forgive me.

I'm so glad to hear you like it that much. I can only hope future chapters make you as happy! Thanks for reading, and good day to you!
Reply
:iconlilmagi:
Uhm, i'm confused again XD. OK, Ill try to pin point the problem for me.
You actually meant SlovEnian MF, not SlAvonian? Or do you mean they are in Croatian MF.
See, if you actually mean SlovEnian MF, well. such thing doesn't really exist, as SlovEnia doesn't border Ottoman Empire at all....
That's why I thought you meant SlAvonian MF. And such I pointed the correction.
Here is the map: [link]
The White is Austria, and green is Ottoman Empire. (Red and Grey are autonomous regions within their respective empires).
As you can see in blue, SlovEnia is rather out there. So our protagonists can be either in Croatian MF or SlAvonian MF. (Croatia marked with Red arrow and SlAvonia with yellow) The Dark Red line represents the border.
Here is the link where I got the map and that explains Kingdom of Croatia within Austrian Empire (note the 18th and 19th century parts) [link]
Also, BTW. its not SlovAnian its SlovEnian. (You may be confused with 2 different spellings , that is the Slovenian and the Slovene, the modern usage is Slovenian, but in the local language and for the time period you are writing, Sloven is mostly used)
I know all this is just semantics and rather minor, but I felt like pointing out the confusion, especcialy considering you said you didn't mean to use SlAvonia at all. Sorry if this bothers you.

________
Here are parts that confused me (again XD)
that spouts off important details, let’s begin. We’re headed to the >>>>Slavonian<<<<<
Militärgrenze with the men-”

“I know that already,” Charles interrupted.

//and the SlovAn parts
again. "It says we're headed to the Slovanian<<< frontier of it. I can only assume that's in
Slovania?"<<<
___
oh and another thing, not sure if you know about these maps, but I found them interesting.
[link]
and from link ^ some relevant for the time peroid.
[link] / [link] / [link] / [link] . They are in german, so if you need to pull up the names for Bosnian stuff :P
Reply
:iconpfisken:
It's awesome. Thank you.
Reply
Add a Comment: